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Wednesday, 2 April 2014

It's Not You, It's Me.....

Today somebody said to me that their not wanting me to do something (of which I am perfectly capable) was not a 'personal criticism. Err I beg to differ. I do what I do with 100% commitment and I do it well. I am only presuming that these people have joined the many others who think I am a lesser human being because of the purple hair/tattoo's/piercings/fierce Independence/stubborn refusal to breed cos that's what I'm here for (like hell is it). All I will say is don't assume I am dumb because I don't conform and don't insult my intelligence. I have no room in my life for people like this as I wave you a fond farewell. Their loss not mine (well, a little bit).

I am now on week 5 of my dog walking job. I have been bitten (badly) once - my stupid fault and not the dogs (he is now one of my favourites), and I've been pulled over once (my knee is still recovering). My feet finally decided to 'man up' and accept their new lifestyle so I'm no longer hobbling around like an arthritic cripple on a daily basis. I can't say I've noticed the weight dropping off me - maybe that was too high an expectation (damn). I am permanently covered in mud and dog slobber and lovely streaks where they wipe their toys down me to get some attention. I smell of wet dog and dog biscuits most days and the van has a constant aroma of dog parps! Lovely. The lack of glamour is right up my street and I smile inwardly (and smugly) when I see women in town made up to the nines in their designer outfits, swinging their overpriced designer handbags. My 'handbags' cost me 99p for 100 - bargain!


I meet a lot of nice dog owners at our usual haunts. I've learnt how to spot the other Dog Walkers who are up their own arse a wee bit too much, they have a certain 'look' and a certain fashionista way of wearing their many dog leads, and the nutters (of which their are many) who will seek you out to sort out their many problems - not always dog related. Spending 50 minutes having a one way conversation with 3 Labradors is not guaranteed to scare these people away - believe me I have tried.

I've done no crafting at all, shame on me. I did have a valid excuse with 2 gaping holes in my hand but now that's healed I need to get knitting again. Blankets and cushions wait for no man.