The budget wedding of the century is pretty much planned and paid for and all in the space of 2 weeks. 2 weeks!! I could mince around and call myself a Wedding Planner and earn a lot of wonga from this stuff but no amount of money would persuade me to work with Bridezilla's and their bloody Mothers with tens of thousands of pounds to spend on bad taste and tat. I made all 3 invites which was quite fulfilling, we've picked thee most 'un weddingy' music which made the Registrar whoop with joy, there is no engagement ring that cost 3 months salary (not all women want to shove half a carat of bling into everyone's faces), the cake will be splendid in a very geeky way, the bride and groom will not be decked out in regulation wedding finery and Sin of ultimate Sins we will not have a proper photographer (stupid selfies and any face pulling pics will be encouraged and most welcome).The only 2 people we're out to please is us. I can't wait and part of me wishes we'd just registered our intent to wed, waited the 28 days and then dragged 2 poor sods off the streets of Market Harborough and forced them to witness our nuptials for nowt.
I have 3 Kilner jars of flavoured gin and vodka festering away nicely under the sink which should be ready by November. The wedded couple, the Best Goth and the witnesses may well be a wee bit hungover and very merry. Here's to dysfunctional weddings.