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Friday, 27 November 2015

Til Death Us Do Part

I can honestly say that being married doesn't feel any different to not being married. Good job we didn't spend tens of thousands of pounds on it then really. What can I say? The day went pretty much as we wanted it to. The Antichrist Bride wore Metallica as previously threatened and drove herself to the venue in her filthy, tatty Fiesta. The ceremony was conducted with Metallica's 'Fade to Black' playing in the background which amused me as it's not your typical wedding song if you read the lyrics. My much loved and well traveled Chicken Run bag was mentioned during the ceremony - a first for the registrar. We took about 6 photos - god how I hate having my picture taken, and we went to a local farm shop restaurant for the meal. They'd never had a wedding party in before so I think we made their day. We had some lovely cards and gifts and I am forever grateful to friends, family and penpal's for thinking about us on our special'ish day. They more than made up for certain mardy arsed individuals who shall remain anonymous. I 'm also eternally grateful to our 2 fabulous witnesses and my stunningly gothed up friend for being there with us. Your support was much appreciated especially as my parents are no longer around to see me get wed. I'm sure there would have been a lot of piss take from both of them about me marrying an Aston Villa fan.

And, just to prove you don't have to get into debt or bankrupt your poor parents to get wed, we did it all for the grand total of £418.38 !!!!
  • Registry Office + marriage certificate  £150
  • Rings  £125
  • Wedding 'favours'  £28.39
  • Grooms shirt and tie  £34
  • Bride's Metallica t-shirt  £15
  • Invites (homemade)  £1.00
  • Cake  £60
  • Velvet flowers  £4.99
No designer dress I will never wear again. No sugared almonds. No venue colour co-ordinated to our outfits. No annoying photographer or overpriced wedding album. No chairs draped in fabric and bows. No expensive wedding transport. No vomit inducing or twee little rituals or performances and no heart attack inducing wedding gift list for John Lewis.

The Infamous Chicken

The Guests

Star Wars cake

The Bride and Groom doing it their way

I'd always said that I would only ever get married in Las Vegas with a fake Elvis at the ceremony. Market Harborough bears no resemblance to Vegas even after 10 pints but 'The King' did make an appearance........

Elvis has left the building


  1. Congratulations to you both. I am glad to see you did it the way you wanted and didnt line anybodies pockets with money.All the best for the future.xx

    1. Thank you. I just couldn't bear to have a showy day when we could spend the money on so much more