Oh The Shame Of It

Oh dear. I had what seemed like a really good idea this morning and that was to get out all of my UFO's (unfinished projects) to see just what I had 'on the go' and what could possibly be finished off and put to use. That good idea turned into the show of shame when I realised I have just under 30 things lurking in my craft box and wardrobe in varying stages of completion.

 Goth Doll #1 which I'm knitting for a friend.....

 ....Goth Doll #2 which is for me....

....my assorted squares blanket....

....a commissioned blanket.....

 ...wool and pattern to knit mice....

......circular crochet cushion # 1....

......circular crochet cushion #2....

....err another cushion!

Assorted squares to be made into something though gawd knows what - a scarf maybe?!

 ....tiny squares - again don't know what they're going to be....

.....another granny blanket....

 .....a vintage patchwork piece I inherited which is older than me and apparently made by Nun's!!! This needs to be made into something special I think....

3 cross stitches - 1 was started by my Mum over 15 years ago and I need to finish it, and a Stars and Stripes apron that needs sewing up....

...wool I bought in St Ives but can't decide on what to make with it.....

..... 4 festival/gig t-shirts that need customising a year on....

......king size patchwork quilt I started in 1995 to take my mind off being shacked up with an alcoholic. It just needs backing but guess which twerp sold her sewing machine!!!?

Several years worth of patchwork and bunting fabric ( I have a fabric fetish)....

Tie dye fabric I bought in Lancaster 2 years ago to make ankle skimming skirts with - except now I don't wear long skirts anymore....

......more patchwork and bunting fabric....

......dog fabric that my Mum was going to make into a waistcoat for me......

.....VW Beetle fabric which I intend on making into bunting for my 'not yet purchased but desperately wanted' VW T25 campervan...

.......batik fabric I bought to make into curtains for the motorhome but which will now make curtains for my campervan (see above)....

.......and finally......Mohair I got at a bear fair to cover the tatty bear (Scruff) I have had since I was a baby.

Blimey. I'm out of breath now. I think I need to set myself some targets to get this lot finished. I'm hoping to join another craft group which meets in the village pub twice a month so that may just spur me on.

Back To School

This morning my bag was packed with a brand new funky cow notebook and new biro's and my alarm was set for 5.40am.  No normal person gets up at that ungodly hour but I had a new job to start at 7am - yes you read that right - a job, a proper job too and not a 'we're going to piss you about' agency job either. I'm only a common old Administrator doing 25 hours a week but it's a small staff of 8 and I have a boss who makes the tea. Perfect. I may have had to give up my beloved craft club but I get to have conversation on a daily basis and get paid for it. Add to that I get to wash my car with the company jet was if I do so wish!! Wahay who needs bonuses and overtime.

It's been 2 and a half weeks of hell as I had to give up my stomach medication so the Doctor could do some blood and other tests on me (ever felt like a guinea pig?) After a severe cock up on their behalf I had to bring the 'puff test' home to do and as it is now winging its way to Glasgow to be tested I can now launch myself at my tablets like a jittering junkie. And why the hell not. It's been 19 days of not eating properly and feeling like crap so tonight the long suffering BF took me out for my 1st proper meal in an age. All in all a good start to the week.

I received half a dozen eggs and a thank you card for my poster making efforts for the craft fair and jazz concert - it's really nice to be appreciated. My creative stash to sell at the fair now consists of 1 granny blanket, 7 hanging birds, 1 penguin and 6 owls....

Twit-twoo

...and I'm baking cakes Saturday morning to sell and helping out as well just to prove that not everyone under 65 in this village is a Mercedes driving, child breeding stuck up ignorant cow.

Diabetic Dog's latest round of tests for Cushing's disease has come back as negative! He has every symptom going yet he falls into the 10% that show as negative and possibly require a 2nd blood test - oh joy at around £100 a pop. The alternative is to monitor his symptoms or possibly have his blood glucose levels tested a 2nd time - again around £100 a time. Why does everything at the moment require shed loads of cash? I'm fed up of saying 'If I sell the van' as half the population of the UK appears to be watching it on ebay and a small group of knobheads keep making offensive and low offers. I must bite my tongue and bide my time I guess.

Happy Campers

I'm attempting to crack on and finish some of my crafty UFO's. As I now have an overwhelming longing for one of these.....

(it could be a long wait as my motorhome is still up for sale). Any spare moments are spent scouring ebay (bad idea) looking at the good, the bad and the downright ugly. After poring over hundreds I know what I don't want which is a good start. I've even been thinking about names!!! Anyone would think I was knocked up such is my obsession. It will definitely be kitted out with crochet - blankets, cushions and gawd knows what which is why I'm currently working on my odd square blanket.....

I'm also trying to knock out as many Owls. penguins and birds as I can for the village craft fair in a few weeks

and now I've offered to do the posters and bake cakes for the event too!! No wonder my craft class cohorts think I'm such an asset to the village! I've lived here 4 months and in that time I've joined the craft club and the WI, taken on the delivery of the parish news once a month (think of it as a paper round for the over 40's) and rendered the President of the WI speechless (the appearance of my knitted hat). Village life is never dull - well it is a lot of the time but I've come to the conclusion that re-opening the village shop would soon sort out that problem and I'm also up for that challenge. 

Crowning Glory

Yay I finally finished my tea cosy pattern hat yesterday and I love it. This is it (and yes I was dead lazy and used the wool ends as decoration instead of sewing them in).....

This is me wearing it......I can cram all of my pink sheep hair into it and it keeps my ears warm against the arctic blasts.....

But.......

...the dog wears it better than I do  :)

Time For A Brew

As if I don't have enough unfinished craft projects lying around I decided yesterday to knit myself a hat seeing as the winter seems so reluctant to bog off. It's a tea cosy pattern (takes me back to tea at my Nan's) and I'm doing it in a host of rainbow colours cos I'm past caring how much of a tit I look 

I'm hoping to get it finished by tomorrow so at least I get to try it out in the arctic conditions when I'm out with the dogs. It's inspired me to recreate the stripey jumper I first knitted way back in the late 80's. It was perfect festival and 'alternative' lifestyle attire. You can just about see it in this rather awful picture 

That's me aged 19 at the 1988 Reading Festival. Ahh those were the days. Drinking cider, living on Pot Noodles and arriving home unwashed after 4 days in a field full of hippies.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

It's been a manic few weeks and far too long since I put sarcasm to 'paper' and blogged about something inconsequential. Diabetic Dog has now turned into DD who also has Cushing's and to add to that the poor old git has had a serious bout of Pancreatitis which saw him spending 48 hours at the Vet's on a drip. After a rough 10 days he's now recovering and I'm planning a bank heist so I'm ready for the next lot of horrendous Vet bills. 

Naff all has been happening on the job front so I'm now being true to myself and applying for slightly more bizarre jobs such as Mother's Helper and Support Worker which a lot of people seem to think would be the last thing I'd want to do for a living but I'm getting more good feedback from these than I am from the zillions of boring Office jobs I'm wasting my time chasing after. We don't all aspire to wear suits, work 9 to 5 and earn 5 or 6 figure salaries so watch this space.

This chap left me this week for his new home and it was a painful parting...

He is a gift for someones adult Goth son. I really hope he likes him and hopefully I get some more orders . There are currently 2 more in the making - 1 for me as a stock piece and 1 for a friend as an advert for my skills - dare I say that? Anyway, the dolls are available to order - several styles to choose  - from £20.

I've also been busy crocheting these little fellas...

Owls seem to be the current trend and I tweaked the pattern to produce penguins as they seem to have quite a fan base too thanks to recent BBC programmes. I'm also making these to order though at the moment I'm trying to make a dozen for the village craft fair! I can't take credit for the pattern, that has to go to this lady whose blog I follow and whose tutorial I used 

http://bunnymummy-jacquie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/easy-crochet-owl-tutorial.html

The village is once again buried in snow - it's late March for crying out loud! I did my bit and wielded the snow shovel this morning to clear most of it from the paths and drive. The dogs enjoyed a mad plough across the field - it was up to their chins. I didn't enjoy having to remove tennis ball sized clumps from their feet when we got back. I felt really sorry for the lambs who didn't seem to know what had hit them as they tried desperately to shelter from the drifting snow and freezing cold winds. I wonder if the BF would notice me sneaking a few into the house to keep them warm? Not a lot else has been going here out here in the sticks. My car passed its MOT - phew. My motorhome is still up for sale and I just wish it would go now as it's a bit of a burden. I still religiously attend craft class every Wednesday though we seem to do more chatting than crafting. These village elders as I shall call them are all mad as a box of frogs and have more interesting tales to tell than most people would give them credit for. It is my weekly dose of happy. I've been asked to help host the May WI meeting - bit taken aback at that honour. Marches meeting sparked a lot of ladies interest as we had a very nice young man come to talk to us about wilderness survival skills and native awareness. He then attempted to make fire on the Parish Hall carpet! I'm also going to be delivering the Parish News every month. This means that me, the Athiest blasphemer will have to set foot inside the village church. I'm sure I'll survive.

Bela Lugosi's Not Dead

He is alive - in the knitted sense of the word, and sitting on the kitchen table waiting for me to grow a pair of balls and embroider his face.

Here he is looking a bit bald and scary with a Jimmy Hill chin going on and freaking my BF out ! What a wimp.

That's 25" from the top of his head to the tip of his Gothy black painted toenails (only joking)

Now he has hair he reminds me of Pete Burns before he changed gender and got a trout pout. Seeing as I was very reluctant to take on this project I'm actually very pleased with him but I do still have to sew on his ears and embroider his facial features (Yikes!!) The person I've done him for is chuffed to bits with him so maybe this is my saving grace. I can crochet without looking but knitting requires a bit more concentration so I don't get to think about the all of the trash that's stressing me out at the moment (no job, endless applications, diabetic dog, car, van, blah, blah, blah). Knitting as Therapy Rocks. More Goth dolls are in the pipeline and I may even stick them on a well known handmade website. I do believe I've knitted my ideal man, maybe I can create somebody elses :)